Effective Communication: Speak So Others Listen

Posted On May 16, 2020

When it comes to effective communication there are two types of people – those who command attention and those who simply blend in.

Everyone knows that person who is a natural speaker. That person who can grab the attention of an audience no matter the topic or situation. They ooze confidence and people hang on their every word. Public speaking appears to be a natural talent and they seem to have an innate ability for effectively communicating their message. 

Effective communication skills are an essential part of life and can heavily influence your success. Effective communication skills can open doors where there were no possibilities before. Don’t stress if you were not born with the gift of gab, effective communication skills are 100% teachable and can be easily improved with practice.

If you want to build effective communication skills and speak so people will listen, focus on these simple techniques:

Effective communication involves Listening to Others.

Effective communication starts with listening. Who are we most likely to listen to? Those who listen to us! If you want to effectively communicate and speak so others will listen, you must show that you are willing to listen when others speak.

To be a good listener:

• Maintain eye contact
• Be attentive
• Clarify, don’t criticize
• Respond by summarizing what was said

Effectively Communicate by Creating a Strong First Impression.

Studies show it takes less than 30 seconds to make a first impression, so use this time wisely. Whether you like it or not, judgement are made the minute you meet someone, and these immediate impressions can last a lifetime. First impressions are not always based on personal encounters, communication reaches well beyond the verbal scope. The first email, phone call, or voicemail can make as much of an impression on a person as a personal face-to-face interaction. Just as your reputation precedes you, communication happens long before you ever open your mouth. Be sure that each and every time you encounter someone, whether in person or through technology, you are making a point to make a good impression. 

Some things to consider when it comes to first impressions:

• Introduce yourself immediately
• Be friendly and approachable
• Speak clearly
• Broadcast a positive self-image
• Consider your personal message
• Show self confidence

Get Personal to Encourage Effective Communication.

There is no better way to grab someone’s attention than by using his or her name. Effective communication is built on the idea of a personal connection, which you can easily create with anyone in seconds. As soon as you are introduced to someone shake their hand and repeat their name back to them. Try t use their name again throughout the conversation to build a trusting bond. It may feel awkward but using someone’s name is a natural way to hold their attention because it makes them feel as if the message is specifically for them.  If you are speaking to a group of people, use each person’s name to include them in the conversation. One of the keys to effective communication is to make the listener feel included in the conversation.

For example: “Linda, what are your thoughts on the issue?” or “Ben, did you want to add anything?”

There are a few rules to follow when it comes to name dropping:

• Address the person the same way they were introduced. Do not address Richard as Rick, or Mr. Lowell as Johnathan unless they have specifically asked that you do so.
• If the person’s name is particularly hard to remember say it more frequently until it sticks in your mind.
• Associate the person’s name with something else to help you remember it more easily in the future. For example: Marilyn = Marilyn Monroe OR Amanda the Accountant OR Bill with the Big Brown eyes.
• If you forget a person’s name, simply ask them to remind you. There is nothing more awkward than knowing that someone does not remember your name. It is far more respectful to ask for a reminder than to try to fake a conversation without knowing who you are talking to.

Speak for Yourself.

Using ‘I’ statements is a powerful tool of effective communication. Not only does it take responsibility off others, it shows that you are passionate about what you are saying. Opinion based ‘I’ statements are a great way to own your message and encourage conversation. Too often people say, “you are…” instead of “I feel…” and this immediately puts the listener on the defensive. When we use ‘you’ statements the person we are talking to feels as if they are being held responsible for the statement. This creates pressure on the listener to defend, explain or clarify; even when it is not required. In turn they will be formulating a response rather than listening to what is being said, By using ‘I’ statements you are speaking only for yourself, eliminating the possibility of a defensive response. You are also showing confidence in your message and intelligence in your thinking.

Here are a few tips for talking responsibly:

• ‘I’ statements are a great diffusion tool. When things get heated, speaking in ‘I’ statements is a good way to avoid escalating the issue. This method reduces defensiveness and encourages open communication. 
• Don’t over do it. You don’t want to seem as if you are only concerned with yourself. Be sure that it is a two-way conversation and that you are breaking up script by asking questions that require more than yes or no responses. 
• When talking about a topic, avoid generalizing. Instead, be clear in what you are saying and back it up with well researched information. Phrases like, “Most people” or “They say” are fine in casual conversation but it is far more impressive when the person talking knows what they are talking about and can back it up with supporting evidence.

Effective communication is a skill that can be learned. While some people are born with the ability to command a room, others need more time to perfect this desirable skill.

With time, patience, and practice, the skills above can help you become and effective communicator and can increase your chance of success.