Anger: 8 Ways to Control It.

Posted On March 7, 2020

Anger is a BIG emotion. It can be difficult to predict and hard to control. Maybe you find yourself fuming when someone cuts you off in traffic or you get angry when your kids don’t listen. Perhaps, you just want to learn to calm down and prevent a big blowup. The good news is there are tips that will help you approach anger from a positive place to create more pace in your daily life.

8 Ways to control anger before it controls you:

1. Think before you speak

Anger can make us say and do things that we will later regret. If you feel yourself getting frustrated take a moment to think about the words you are about to use. The old saying ‘sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is far from the mark. The problem with words is that they cannot be unsaid, and negative words often have a lasting impact on the receiver. Before you talk or respond, simply take a second to breathe deeply and choose your words with care.

2. Use positive language to express your anger

Anger is interesting. While anger is a negative emotion, it is not something you want to get rid of or hide inside. In fact, anger can signal that something is not right, and it should be processed and expressed. The key is to express anger from a place of peace. When anger strikes take time to calm down before expressing your feelings. You will be better able to communicate your frustration and less likely to hurt someone’s feelings if you allow yourself time to calm down first.

3. Get moving to fight anger

Calming down when you are angry can be a challenging task. Luckily, exercise is anger friend. A brisk walk, a jog, or a session at the gym are excellent ways to release anger. Exercise releases endorphins in the brain and nervous system (a group of chemicals that can have a positive impact on your mood) and these chemicals will help you calm down and can make you feel happier as well. A good workout is great for your body and mind. Even a short walk can work wonders on your mood.

4. Identify possible solutions to the anger

The key to expressing your anger in a positive way is to focus on possible solutions rather than what is making you mad. Much of the time people are so focused on what is frustrating them that they forget they need to solve the problem. Couples encounter this issue a lot and will often have the same fight over and over because they fail to come up with a resolution. When you calm down and express your anger it is important that solutions to the problem are discussed. For examples of solution-based arguments take a look at the article ‘Fighting Fair: 10 examples of productive disagreements’

 5. Stick with ‘I’ statements

Using I statements when you are angry is a great way to defuse the situation and get to a solution. By focusing on ‘I’ statements you can avoid placing blame or generalizing behavior. For example, you could say “I feel frustrated when you leave your dirty laundry on the floor” rather than generalizing ‘you never pick up your clothes’. Through the use of I statements, you are acknowledging the issue and expressing how it makes you feel without placing the weight of the problem on the other person.

6. Let it go

The key to productive fighting it to move forward. Fighting in itself is not a bad thing. In fact, it is an important aspect of any relationship. However, having the same fight over and over is not healthy and can lead to long-term resentment. Forgiveness is a powerful tool and one of the only ways to combat anger productively. It is vitally important that you remain focused on a solution that prevents the issue at hand so that you are able to move past it and move forward.

7. Practice relaxation skills

Anger is going to happen. It is a natural part of life and it can not be avoided. When tempers flare turning to relaxion training can often be helpful for defusing the tension. There a plethora of relaxation techniques out there that you can learn and use in any situation. Something as simple as Mindful Breathing can help you to end anger before it even begins. Take time to learn a few relaxation skills and utilize them whenever you feel your blood pressure beginning to rise.

 8. Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger can be challenging. If your anger seems out of control or you cannot seem to calm yourself down seek help. There are many different programs and teachers available to help you learn the best techniques for coping with anger in an effective way. Remember, each person is different, and change takes time. Don’t give up, you will find the tools that work best for you.  

Until Next time…

Just Breathe!

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Share some of the ways that you cope with anger in the comments.