Confidence. What it is and How It Develops.

Posted On November 19, 2021

Ah, confidence. That mysterious word that we all know but few of us fully understand. So what exactly is confidence, and why is it so darn important?

What is confidence – and why is it important?

Confidence is your belief in yourself. You must trust yourself and your judgments and act in ways that make you proud of who you are if you hope to be confident.

To some degree, confidence is an aspect of the self. However, while you portray self-confidence to the world, you also hold it within yourself every day. Your self-confidence drives every choice and action you make, and without it, you may find yourself lost or confused about who you are or where you belong in the world.

Self-Confidence vs. Self-Esteem

Self-confidence is how you present yourself to others. It is your outward image. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is how you view yourself on a personal level.

These two aspects of the self can be significantly different, although they are deeply related.

Conflicting Viewpoints

You may ‘appear’ confident to others but you could actually lack this trait and suffer from low self-esteem. Who you are on the outside does not always match who you are on the inside. Self-esteem is created throughout your life cycle and is influenced by others and your circumstances, because of this many people find that the way they appear to others does not always match the way they feel about themselves.

What does confidence look like?

Confidence can be challenging to describe, but the following examples may help you better understand this term and allow you to determine where you lack confidence.

Signs of a confident and unconfident person:

A Confident Person…	Someone who has Low Confidence…
You are at a party, and all your friends are trying drugs or alcohol, but you choose not to because you know it is not the right thing to do. Confidence is when you stick to your choice despite others mocking you or your decision.	You are at a party, and all your friends are trying drugs and alcohol. You decide to try it because you are worried that your friends will make fun of you if you do not. These are the actions of someone that lacks confidence.
You go above and beyond at work or school because you have a goal aligned with what you are doing. Confidence means putting in extra effort to achieve your goals.	You stay within your comfort zone rather than stepping up and taking the initiative to try new things at work or school. People with low confidence levels tend to play it safe.
You mess up a big project and take responsibility as soon as you realize your mistake. Confidence is admitting your mistakes and accepting your faults.	You mess up a big project, and when you realize your mistake, you stay quiet, hoping no one will notice or you allow others to take the blame for your mistake. When you lack confidence, it can be easy to keep quiet and hide from confrontation.
When someone tells you that you look good, you can accept the compliment with poise. A confident person knows how to receive praise.	When someone tells you that you look good, you laugh and reply by putting yourself down or brushing off the compliment. Those who lack confidence tend to feel pressure when in the spotlight and often downplay accomplishments,
You are praised for a job well done at work, and you reply with a simple ‘thank you.’	You are praised at work for a job well done, and you reply by making excuses, pushing the attention onto someone else, or avoiding the conversation altogether. When you lack confidence, you miss out on genuine praise and opportunity.

The examples in the table above show how a person will behave or react depending on whether they have high or low confidence levels. Those with high self-confidence tend to be more positive, and they understand their self-worth. Confident people accept praise when it is due and admit their faults when it is needed.

How to Appear More Confident (a.k.a. Fake it ‘til you make it):

When you think of confidence, what comes to mind? Self-confidence is seen in how you talk, walk, and even in your level of eye contact. We tend to overlook many subtle signs of self-confidence, but these minor aspects can be essential in forming the outward image we present to others.

While many factors affect whether we appear confident or not, there are a few things that many self-confident people can accomplish or traits that they have in common that send a self-assured message to others.  

The Dreaded First impression:

People with low confidence levels often find it difficult to make a good first impression on others. These people can appear shy or unsure of themselves. Because of this, it can be difficult for others to see them in any other way.

The good news is, there are many things that you can do to improve the impression that you leave on others. Whether it is the first meeting, a work presentation, or you are leading a group. There are ways that you can create a confident image of yourself to others.

How to convey a confident image to others:

Maintain eye contact: Eye contact is an essential aspect of confidence. Holding someone’s gaze shows them that you are engaged in what is said and focused on the message.

Be aware of your body language: Your body language tells others a lot about you. Avoid fidgeting or looking around while talking to someone. Body language can send a positive or negative message without us even realizing it. Fidgeting or looking away, for example, makes it appear as if you do not care what the other person is saying.

Prepare yourself for the confidence you desire: When you know what you are talking about and are prepared for any questions that may arise, you will naturally appear more confident. Being prepared when speaking with others will help you convey a confident persona. You can easily prepare for any social situation by thinking about your responses to typical questions and considering who you are as a person in advance.

Three Tips to Improve Confidence:

Confidence takes time to build. Your self-confidence is one aspect of your self-image that is interesting in its development. Confidence is built over time but can be broken down in mere moments. Thankfully, despite losing confidence, it can always be regained. With a bit of work and a lot of self-love, you can be the confident person you long to be.

Build Habits That Improve Confidence:

The key to creating confidence is to develop confident habits in your life. If you find that you struggle when you receive compliments, aim to improve this through practice. Break bad habits and replace them with positive ones as much as you can.

Focus on your achievements:

There is a big difference between being proud of yourself and bragging. You need to learn to be your own biggest cheerleader. Take pride in what you have accomplished in life and share that pride with others. There is nothing wrong with being happy to achieve a goal, do not hide your achievements.

Boost confidence by creating confident goals:

Set goals to improve your confidence. While you may want to be a famous singer or actor someday, this may not be the ideal goal for this moment. When setting goals, aim for goals that are achievable at this moment right now. Setting shorter-term goals that are achievable soon is a great way to build your confidence. This does not mean you should give up on your big dreams, but rather that you should work on those smaller goals that will move you in the right direction towards the bigger ones.

Confident people can trust themselves. These people understand that things do not always go their way and can accept their mistakes and failures as lessons for the future. If you desire more confidence, you first need to learn to understand yourself on a deeper level. Once you know who you are, really know, then you will be better equipped to be confident in your abilities and actions.

The road to confidence is long, and it has many ups and downs along the way. If you stay positive and believe in yourself, you will be able to achieve anything.

Until Next Time,

Know Your Worth.